The Honeymoon vs. the Babymoon

There are many things different between the honeymoon phase of a couple’s relationship and the “babymoon” phase of the relationship. I could name a few, but why should I when the number one thing is so glaringly obvious by the photo I’ve posted? I’m taking panties, girls. No, not the cute pink number with strings that could be misconstrued by some as an eye patch, I’m talking the gianormous, stretchy “briefs” that, should you be caught off guard without shelter in a thunderstorm, you could take these off and just construct a tent for yourself. And a friend.

I do have to admit fault in explaining why the maternity briefs pictured above are so large. It’s because I bought a large. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m a medium, but somehow, the state of constriction my non-maternity underwear had put me in at the moment swayed my hand to the larges. And because I purchased them in a sealed 3-pack, I could not see that they were of such large proportion. Be sure to note: the picture does not even factor in the stretch element, so these dandies are indeed much larger than pictured. With all my regular briefs disappearing so deeply into the nether region below my growing belly that I can no longer see a swatch of fabric when I look down after putting them on, these maternity monstrosities are my only option on some days. So I wear them. They’re comfortable, the truth is that I’ll probably grow into them, so why not? The honeymoon is definitely over!